Sunday, September 08, 2013

OMG, how did they get in here ?


There were “Arabs with knives”  at the foot of the bed, they were at the foot of the bed.

Sorry for the lack of updates, I'm a few days behind and will hopefully catch up soon, I'm travelling around Germany on vacation with family now so have little time to write, however I've just spent half an hour typing out what happened last night while it was fresh in my mind!

So as most people who know me know, my favourite Roger album is “The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking” its my “dessert island” album. So for me to be in Germany where the album is set and to be travelling around for two weeks is a great experience while listening to some of the lyrics and seeing some of the sights. However, what happened last night in the hotel room here where i am in Rothenburg Ob Der Tauber at 2am in the morning was more like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds than Rogers story about a dream!

Kami, Kim, Joe and i were sharing a separate annex to the hotel here, its got two bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, living room , kitchen and also a hallway that's used to access both bedrooms. It was nearly midnight last night when Kami and i walked back to our room from the terrace of the main hotel, We’d all been sat out on the hotel terrace watching the fireworks and drinking nice wine.. We were both sleeping when they arrived back to the room as I’d been driving for 5 hours today and i fell straight to sleep the second my head hit the pillow.

Our hotel                                   The terrace                                                Wine!

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I woke up in the middle of the night feeling busts of wind over my face, i looked at my cell phone and it was 2:30am. i let my eyes focus for a few minutes and while doing so i could hear and see some small black things floating around in the room. At first i thought they were months but they were too big to be moths, it was then a realised they were bats!!

There were only two or three in the room but it sounded like there were a dozen! they were flying from one corner to the other in the room, swooping down to within inches of my head! i turned over and tried to get to sleep but that wasn't happening at all. i turned and looked at Kami but she was out cold sleeping. I then got out of bed and opened the bedroom door a little more to try let them fly out, it was then that i saw what was probably between 15 and 20 bats all flying around in the hallway! Kim and Joe had come home and opened the window in the hallway wide open. I kid you not, it was like a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds!! I desperately needed to use the bathroom which was the other side of the hallway so  I just closed my eyes and just ran across to the bathroom, i was totally naked, running through a hallway with 20 bats flying around my head!!

The hallway                                               The point of entry!

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As i headed back, i remembered their was another small bedroom with a single bed in off the hallway. I looked across and the door was closed, no bats in there i thought. I went back in the bedroom and laid on the bed for 5 minutes, Kami had woken up by this point and i told her the whole story of my dash to the bathroom. It was at this point that one of the bats decided to “Go on Judge, Shit on him” right on my face! then on the sheet of the bed right next to me!

That was it, i was done, i got back up and opened the hallway door, i just stood there and looked as the bats filled the hallway swooping from one side to the other, i could see them lit up in the moonlight from the open window. i thought about closing the window to stop any more getting in but how would the ones already there get out? Again, i just hunkered down and ran for the small bedroom, opened the door, went inside and closed the door behind me within nano seconds.

The spare bedroom

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It took me an hour or so to settle down but i finally fell to sleep. the next thing i knew it was 4:30am, Kami was at the door and told me al the bats had gone so come back to the other bedroom.I shook my head, said something i cant remember, rolled over and went back to sleep!

Its now 9am, I've been up since before 7, i headed back to the main bedroom walking through the hallway and noticing that the hallway, both bathrooms and our bedroom had the lights on, it was like some horror film where you have to leave the lights on so the vampires don't come get you! Kami was wide awake and told me how she got the bats out of the bedroom apart from one which she watched crawl up into the top of the curtains and is still there as i type this! We have to get it out by tonight or risk getting shit on again! i so wish i had taken a picture of the hallway as i opened the door, what probably would have been a more horrific picture though was me stood there naked running through the room terrified!

The bats in there somewhere!                                Picture in our room! looks like me last night!

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I know for a fact that Kim is frightened of spiders, needles and other trivial things, i dread to think what would have happened had Kim needed the bathroom and opened the door to the hallway, you would have heard the screams the other side of the world!

I dread to think if I’m gonna get any sleep tonight, it hasn't helped seeing the picture that my friend Jackie posted on my facebook page after hearing the story!

Thanks Jackie, this is gonna make me sleep so much more tonight!


More pictures of fireworks from last night:


  1. So, you slept in the crib room of shame, eh? Blame it on vats, eh?

  2. Haha, Simon.... We need photographic evidence tonight before we even start to believe you. Sleep tight tonight.

  3. Are you sure you are not following Meatloaf on tour!!!!!

  4. Please find a good ghost writer and editor if you should try to write a book.

  5. Most excellent story... Hey next year is the 30th anniversary of the Pros and Cons... I hope Nick Griffiths is working on a box set- remasterd disc, live discs, outtakes. That would be awesome.

    On a serious note Simon- you have to write all these stories up in a book. This is a very funny story.


    1. We'll see on the book! Glad you're enjoying the blog:)

      You do know Nick Griffiths passed away in 2005!!